A class announcement said we would have a "formal debate" on Friday. I assumed formal described the clothing. I arrived in a dark suit, polished shoes, and a borrowed briefcase that contained nothing except a notebook and a granola bar. Everyone else was wearing normal campus clothes. The professor meant that the debate would follow a formal structure. Nobody had considered dressing differently. I tried to remove the jacket casually, but a classmate asked whether I was there to represent the university in court. My assigned topic was school uniforms, which made the outfit look like an aggressive visual argument. The professor introduced me as "counsel for the opposition" and asked me to begin. I had to stand there in a full suit explaining why dress codes were unnecessary. My team won, mostly because the other side laughed through their opening statement. The briefcase is still known as the granola portfolio.