My family spent three days changing the menu for a holiday lunch. Every few minutes someone removed a dish, added it back, or asked whether twelve people needed six desserts. I recorded a voice note for my sibling saying I loved everyone, but if the potato recipe changed again I was going to eat alone in the car. I sent it to the family group chat. The message was two minutes long and included an impression of several relatives. I watched the read receipts appear one by one. Nobody answered for ten minutes. Then my aunt, whose potato changes had inspired most of the recording, posted the final menu. The potato entry had been replaced with: "Whatever keeps the dramatic one out of the parking lot." Lunch was fine. The potatoes were excellent. My family now sends every menu update as a voice note and begins by asking whether I am emotionally prepared to receive it.